Revealing the ACT Matrix: A Guide to Psychological Flexibility in Daily Life

I want to introduce you to a point of view, a way of looking at yourself and the world.

Dr. Kevin Polk created the ACT Matrix. ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Training) is an experiential approach to change. Dr. Polk wanted to quickly show how to engage people in a process that stimulates creativity and discovering what works for the life they want to lead. Let me show you how it works.

I start by drawing this diagram. It is two crossed lines. The vertical line is your experiencing line. The Senses (your five senses) are at the top of the vertical line. The Mind (mental experiencing) is at the bottom. Everything you have learned has come into you through one or more of your five senses. What we experience on the outside (you are seeing the diagram and the lines and curves that you recognize as words right now) flows inside and becomes a mental experience (thoughts, feelings, memories, etc.). We use language to connect our outside world and our inside world and create meaning as we go about our daily lives. All of this occurs in the present moment each and every day of our lives.

The horizontal points to the directions in which our behaviors move us. We seek contentment as we move toward important people and things in our lives, and we seek relief from unwanted inner experiences like anger, worry, and sadness. We are continuously approaching the important people and things we want and avoiding what we don’t want. We can use this diagram anytime to map out our experiences and choose actions for where we want to go.

I would have this drawing visible if we met in person or virtually. I might sketch it on paper or a wall and ask, “Who’s important to you?”. For me, I would say my wife and children. I would jot down the important people in the lower right quadrant of the diagram. You would share who’s important in your life and we would jot them down in the lower right quadrant. Talking about and recalling these kinds of experiences feels good. It elicits warm and fuzzy feelings.

The next question is, “What yucky stuff like fear shows up inside you?” Yucky stuff like anxiety, anger, and self-doubt are often mentioned. Yucky Stuff like fear goes in the lower left quadrant. Everyone experiences fear and a host of other yucky stuff. There is nothing to hide from here; we acknowledge them and jot them down.

We have been conversing about who and what shows up inside of us. I say “shows up” since until I ask the question, it is not a part of our chat. Asking the questions (even if you ask yourself) will result in important people and yucky feeling stuff showing up. That is how our minds work. Bringing your attention to the rich and at times, uncomfortable inner experiences of your life is the beginning of the point of view I will continue to share. As we move around the diagram, we have begun with our mental experiences. This is all of the inside stuff that we carry within us. We don’t usually just “look” at it. Beginning to actually “see” these experiences by writing them down shifts your perspective to “Me Here” looking at “my inside stuff” “There”. This is a subtle and at the same time profound shift in relating to oneself and your world.

You can see I started in the lower right quadrant and have swung over to the lower left. Now our journey will continue to the top part of the diagram to the things we say and do. This is world of observable actions or behaviors. These are the common things all humans do to seek contentment and relief.

I will then shift to the upper left quadrant of the diagram while saying, “When your yucky stuff shows up, what do you do to relieve it? When fear shows up, I might run”. We all do things to seek relief from yucky stuff, like work out to relieve anxiety, yell to get away from anger, and seek reassurance for self-doubt. Relief moves are naturally occurring (like yucky stuff) and can be life-saving. I matter-of-factly jot down relief moves and move on. This is not about whether relief moves are right or wrong. Relief moves are necessary for living. This is a judgment-free way of looking at actions done to relieve suffering. There are as many ways to seek relief as there are experiences we seek relief from. They are meant to give us a quick fix and ease what appears to be troubling us. They are immediate and don’t require much thinking, planning or reflecting. It is built into us to get away from scary stuff and survive. Relief moves are gifts from our ancestors who used them to stay alive. Sometimes they work and sometimes not so much.

Now I move over to the upper right quadrant and ask, “What might you do to approach contentment with who’s important to you?” I will offer, “For myself, I might have dinner with my family.” Talking with your friends, texting your mom, and feeding the dog are popular contentment moves. Just like relief moves, contentment moves the simple things we do. I write a few of them down. Each box contains an aspect of everyday common experiences we all engage in.

Remember when I said this is a point-of-view? Well, the time has come to bring the conversatio into a focus. To do this, I draw a circle. Inside the circle, I write the word, “Notice,” and say, “We have been noticing who’s important to us, yucky stuff, relief moves, and contentment moves. Do you think that sometime during the coming days, you might have the opportunity to notice your important people, yucky stuff, relief moves, and satisfaction moves?” I will share I might have the opportunity to notice these things myself.

I have shared a handy tool to step back anytime and notice the big picture of what is showing up inside of you and what you are up to. It is a nonjudgmental way of looking back at yourself. The process and pattern of asking and answering the questions (as Dr. Polk, the creator of the diagram, has shared with the world) is mindfulness in action. ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Training) refers to this process as psychological flexibility. Psychological flexibility is the ability to do what matters to you with yucky stuff showing up inside of you.

If you get the opportunity, you might want to draw your matrix, jot down your responses, and make some observations. Exciting things happen when you do. Using the Matrix over time leads to discoveries for the life you want to live.

I will share more about ACT and the ACT Matrix point-of-view in future posts. It is a simple, elegant, and sustainable way to help individuals and groups discover what works for valued living.